Friday, July 11, 2008

one more thing, on loneliness:

Loneliness is a tricky thing. It can send you barreling back into the arms of a former boyfriend or girlfriend, whom maybe you loved, or maybe you didn't. Maybe you don't even remember why you were attracted to them in the first place, but it doesn't really matter because sometimes any company is better than feeling alone.
Notice I did not say "being alone," because being alone and feeling alone are two very different things. Feeling so is much more dangerous. It's much more likely to cause you to wake up in the morning next to someone you'd rather not see, usually with a splitting headache, and however lonely you felt last night, you can multiply that by about a thousand, punch yourself in the stomach, and that's how you feel in the morning. So much more alone even though you are waking up with company.
It's hard not to envy the blissfully unaware at times. Those people who tell themselves "I love blank and he loves me too!" and they actually believe it. I guess its not always false, but can two people really feel exactly the same way at the same time? I just don't think so.

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