Adventures in Teacherland

1) Yesterday as I was leaving my classroom, already late for a meeting downtown, I found myself frantically unable to find my room keys. Then suddenly it hit me, much like- and accompanied by- a wave a of nausea: I gave my keys to one of my students at the end of the day to go to the bathroom, since the doors are always locked to try and prevent the vandalism, drug-dealing, and abuse that still manages to find its way inside. Luckily, I have this special child's mother on speeddial so I was able to call her and ask if he had come home with the keys. Her response, said with much warranted shock, was "Why would you give ______ your keys?!" My response, after a pause: "I don't know."

2) So, all teachers at my school are required to have "Word Walls" with words taped up that are pertinent to the classroom. Being a Science teacher, I have words like "carbon," "hypothesis," "element," etc. However, the amount of disrespect and verbal abuse that my students give to each other on a daily basis has really started to wear on me. I cannot believe the language that these 13 and 14 year use around each other. In an effort to counteract this foul movement, I started a "Forbidden Word Wall" next to the regular one. I wasn't sure how my students would take it, but they really bought into it and even contributed words to it that they themselves do not want said in the classroom.
Now, point blank, I am probably the worst teacher in the world. However, even I was pleased with how my first two classes went today. My students really grasped the concept I was teaching, enjoyed the activity I had planned for them, and behaved relatively well. My last class of the day however, was just out of control. Their behavior was awful, and to make matters worse, nothing I said was getting through to them. The only part of class that went well was when they were adding their contributions to the Forbidden word wall, as I allowed several students to get up and add some words while I was teaching the others, and not taking the time to notice what they were putting up. So of course, out of all three of my classes, my Principle chooses to come observe this one. She happened to walk in just as my students had reached their peak of bad behavior. Luckily she stayed for only five terrible minutes during which I just basically begged students to pay attention. BEfore leaving she dropped a note on my desk which I immediately read as soon as my class was finished. It said "Kennelly- I like the 'forbidden word wall' idea, but having some of those words posted in your classroom is actually much WORSE than allowing your students to say them. Please fix this."
With horror I looked to the wall, on which was boldly posted "bitch," "fag," "cunt," and several other doozies which I cannot write in this blog.
Its days like this that I really wonder just what the hell I am doing with my life...